A 41 yrs woman married for 15 years having two kids wanted to know why “Neither he leaves me nor do I leave him” despite extreme disharmony.
Session….
It is a small village in the hills. I am taking lunch with my family. We are happy. They are Indian and I am foreigner (I do not know why?). I am 25 and work in Delhi. I met a very handsome boy at the airport and we smiled at each other. This is recent times.
I am at my work place. Oh God ! My boss [my present life husband] frequently calls me in his chamber. My name is Elena. One day he asked me to join him for dinner but I told him that you are married and left the job. Now I am jobless and live in a small room. I meet that boy at airport and asked him to help me find a job. His name is Avinash. He advised me to train as a pilot as it is easy to find a job as pilot. I discussed with my parents and started training. I worked hard. After completion of my training I got a job. Now me and Avinash started meeting regularly. I like him a lot. Life is good now.
One day, my ex-boss met me in a supermarket. He gave me dirty looks. After a month of this meeting Avinash stopped meeting me. I searched for him but could not locate him. My ex-boss started stalking me and troubling me. One day, I went to his office and hit him on the head. He started bleeding. Police took me away. Next day my ex-boss got me released from the police custody. I visited his home and told his wife everything. He was also at home and he looked at me with anger. Later on I learnt that his wife committed suicide. After few days, he caught me on the way and took me to an isolated place. He raped me. Angered I hit him with a stone on the head and he fell unconscious. Same day I returned back to my home in village. Time passed by. Now I am 35. My father is sick and my brothers are not settled yet. We are now in difficult financial situation. I decided to go back to Delhi. Again searched for Avinash and found him. He told me your ex-boss threatened to kill my parents, so I left the city and relocated to another place. We again started meeting regularly. I started working. My brothers are also settled now. Now I am 40 and we both got married. I gave birth to a daughter but she died after a year.
One day, my ex-boss saw me in the market. I was afraid so I ran away from there. I told Avinash. We both got worried. After few weeks, my ex-boss got him killed. Then he came to meet me and asked me to marry him. I wanted to take revenge so I married him. He took me to his home. He takes lot of care of me and my brothers. He brought my mother to live with us after my father expired. But I hate him.
He had a heart attack. In hospital I tried to mix some injection in his drug but he survived. He is on a wheel chair. He has transferred all of his business interests to me. After few months he again had another heart attack and now he is bed ridden. I have put him in the room on the ground floor. I place his meals at a distance from him so that he cannot reach and eat it. I want him to suffer a lot. He pleads for my forgiveness. My mother started interfering and took lot of care of him. She gave him good food and he started improving. My mother also tells me to forgive him. But I could not. I hate him.
Now I am 50 and not well. My husband took a lot of care of me. My mother advised me to live in harmony. Now I do not hate him as much. I pretend everything is normal but inside there is deep dislikes for him. He loves me a lot and one day he died. I arranged a drink party at home after his cremation. At 55 years I died in car accident. The lesson I learnt “Do not hate so much”. Guided to her birth event she told I am born to a foreigner couple in Goa. They left me in a church. When I was 2 yrs old a sister brought me from Goa to an orphanage in Delhi for adoption. My father was very good man. He used to visit orphanage and distribute sweets. He adopted me.
