Detachment and past life link
I am in my teens watching a family, an elderly couple, a man and two boys, having dinner somewhere in Rajasthan. I could feel being a member of the family but not a part of them.
I am supposed to be sleep on a rug on the kitchen floor but i see myself lying on a bed in a room that belongs to the man of the house. I am in relation with him and we are to get married. I am very happy that i would soon be the woman of the house.
Next I realized that i was pregnant. I could not see anything for a while. I was taken for delivery. I watched myself hitting the stomach till i lost the baby. I killed my baby. [visibly started rubbing rigorously right side of stomach]. I started crying as I did not deliver. I was told i could not have a baby. He had lied to me, he would never marry me.
I see myself running away from that place. I am carrying all my belongings wrapped in a piece of cloth held under my left arm.
I am cleaning the place. Some women, like me, come, talk to British woman, sit down on the floor in the room and study. I used to finish work and stand outside the room trying to see what they do. The English woman eventually allowed me to sit with those women and i also started to study.
I am wearing a nice Sari and teaching poor women. I do not try to lower my look any more. I do not avoid men any more, meet and talk to them. I do not look unkept and ugly any more. They respected me. I could connect the respect with teaching. I was overjoyed. (my looks do matter to me a lot and of course in this life too).
I am 35 and run a school for Kids. I stay in a house within the school premises. I always wear a Sari and tie my hair in a bun. There was no man in my life. Around the age of 38, i met a man who was very well dressed and wore a hat. I felt attracted to him but something inside me told to stay away. We met at a function at the school. We met again after few months but i decided to stop meeting him. It was not good for me though i knew i was attracted to him more than he was to me.
I see myself travelling to England. I went to meet the English lady and thank her. [She is my mother in current life]. She was very old yet graceful. She was very happy to see me grow as a person. I thanked her. It was very fulfilling to meet her again and share my story. A young English woman came back along with me. I enjoyed her teaching style and it made our school different from others. I had to learn so much from her.
I see myself at a place. There were only women wearing white clothes. There was a teacher who would teach them yoga. The centre was in a place in the hills. It said Yoga but we never did yoga. We used to do meditations. I am 60. I am reading about the soul and trying to purify my soul. I also teach the meditation technique to other women in that centre. The name of centre is Raj Yoga. I was wondering that we all are women here and why would the name of our centre be Raj Yoga.[there is a Raj Yoga centre for women in Rajasthan which is for Brahma Kumaris]
I am 65 and have given the charge of the school to the English young lady. I would only supervise. I started preparing to go through long meditations, reading, searching about Soul and purifying my soul.
It is early morning. I woke up and had a bath, wore pure white new clothes. I died peacefully. I moved up very fast and reached a place of absolute calmness. Master light blessed me and I was filled with peace, calmness and joy. I was called Urma....It was 18th century.
How to describe this life and I would say : LEARNING.
